Wait a minute. Why do J.P. Morgan’s private banking clients–worth an average of $25 million each–need to read this get-ahead glop? They’ve already won! PERI thinks they deserve to relax on the beach with Harry Potter.

It is a small but significant choice, but with that line reading, the audience knows from the start that this is will not be an imitation of the original or the movie. This is Beanie’s Funny Girl, and it puts the emphasis on funny, and she is her own Fanny Brice. If nobody can top Streisand’s singing, Feldstein is as funny as anyone, and that, of course is key to her character....

Mazlan Aluij, 50, arrived at his deceased wife’s grave in Kampung Dakoh, on December 26 to find it savaged by the wild animal. Aluij’s wife, named Amek Along, had died just a few weeks before from a stroke, the New Straits Times reported. Aluij told the New Straits Times that he and his son had visited the graveyard routinely before the incident. “I visit the graveyard to clean it with my son on December 26 and suddenly I noticed footprints and bear excrement in the area where my late wife was buried,” he told the news outlet....

Bear sightings have been all over the news recently, and it may be partly due to their upcoming hibernation––so they’re actively searching for food sources in September and October, according to Yellowstone Bear World. Colorado Parks and Wildlife said back in June that there was a “possibility of increased bear encounters this summer and fall because of late season storms that struck Colorado in May.” ‘Hazing’ A Bear A video posted on the agency’s Twitter page shows the process of getting the bear out from under a porch and away from the neighborhood without handling it....

The 4-month-old cub had entered Castaños town, in the Mexican state of Coahuila, where residents tied its legs together, beat it, and choked it to death, according to Mexico News Daily. Pictures of the incident posted on social media show local people dragging it along the ground with rope. Villagers can be seen holding the rope at both ends and pulling the bear, who is in the center of a circle of people....

Fox has been asked numerous times if he’ll start Cutler and has yet to give a definitive answer. MORE: Cutler Chicago’s most hated in 2014? | Brandon Marshall’s cloudy future “So we’re going to ask this about eight different ways?” Fox replied to one of the final QB questions at the Combine. “I don’t think there’s any question there’s ability and talent there,” Fox said, according to Yahoo.com. “There’s a lot more that goes into that....

Fields took a snap on a fourth-and-1 early in the fourth quarter and turned it into a 22-yard score. The Bears’ quarterback showed excellent elusiveness and evaded numerous 49ers defenders en route to the end zone. RIVERA: Meet Cooper Rush, Cowboys starter with Dak Prescott out The play wasn’t originally designed to be a run for Fields. He changed his approach once he saw what was happening in front of him....

Though the Lions (7-4 SU and 5-6 ATS ) have lost two straight and would currently miss the postseason, they have a wonderful opportunity to help their cause in the coming weeks. Of their next four games, only the Bears are within even a game of .500. The Lions swept Chicago in 2013, covering both times. In fact, Detroit has covered seven of the last eight in the series. In the latest renewal of the rivalry, oddsmakers have made the Lions about a touchdown favorite vs....

The Line: Vikings -6.5, Total: 44 Line movement: The line has fallen slightly since Cutler was named the starter. Minnesota -7 has largely disappeared. The total has ranged from 43.5 to 44.5 across Nevada. Visit our live odds page for updated point spreads and totals from around Las Vegas . Trends that matter: The Bears won the first meeting between the clubs, knocking off Minnesota 21-13 at Soldier Field in November....

Dexter and AfroX know what they are talking about: both are currently serving time in the prison. Like an increasing number of Brazilian inmates, they are turning to rap as an outlet for their rage. At the overcrowded and decrepit Casa de Detenco, Latin America’s largest prison, inmates used to spend their days wallowing in anger and despair and dreaming only of escape. Now many stay up late composing lyrics and dream of agents and record contracts....

The semifinalists for the award are slated to be announced Oct. 29, and the three finalists will be unveiled Nov. 19. The winners will be announced during the Home Depot College Football Awards Show on Dec. 6, and the award will be formally presented March 8. MORE: Sporting News 2018 college football preseason All-Americans Three of last year’s semifinalists — Minkah Fitzpatrick, Bradley Chubb and Roquan Smith — have moved on to the NFL....

The diminutive midfielder took his chance by sending a searing shot into the net beyond Hugo Lloris, guiding his side to a victory that set the tone for their push to the semi-finals. While the goal raised questions over the hosts’ pre-match homework, it also spoke volumes about how much the right-sided midfielder has improved over the course of the past season. He has graduated from promising youngster into arguably the finest performer in Ligue 1 over the course of the 2016-17 campaign....

Fever Pitch While “hanging,” “pregnant” and “dimpled” chads become household terms, Rosenberg’s image is plastered across the news, becoming a symbol of the drama. He appears with a magnifying glass, switching between glasses and no glasses, and using eyedrops. Present Day Rosenberg, still a circuit-court judge in Broward County, keeps a large framed picture of the iconic image in his office, but donated his magnifying glass to the Smithsonian. He wouldn’t need it anyway....

Wang is a known quantity in the world of U.S. biotech. He cut his teeth as a genetics researcher at the major public research universities of Texas, Iowa and Washington. He’s now the snowy-haired, charismatic chairman of Shenzen-based BGI, the world’s largest biotech company, which for decades has been collaborating with some of America’s leading geneticists. BGI participated in the global effort to sequence the first human genome, formed a partnership with the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia to identify genes associated with pediatric diseases, and named an institute in China after Harvard’s George Church, a gene-editing pioneer, who continues to work with the company....

The pair worked together for many years at Manchester United, with both men snapped up by the Red Devils in their teens and allowed to flourish at Old Trafford. ‘Rooney only appreciated when he retires’ Ronaldo was initially overshadowed by the exploits of his fellow youngster, with Rooney offering a greater threat in the final third. The tables would turn in time, though, with Sir Alex Ferguson prepared to tinker with his tactical approach in an effort to bring the best out of both men....

“It was really a mistake,” Tsikhanouskaya told the Associated Press. “The regime never crossed this red line before, of interfering in a European area. This hijacking touched all the European leaders because their citizens were on this flight.” The arrest of journalist and government critic Roman Pratasevich after his flight from Greece to Lithuania was diverted to Minsk sparked outrage in both Europe and North America. The European Union, America, Britain and Canada banded together to impose sanctions on several Belarus officials and organizations on Monday....

In his first public remarks since a military jet diverted a Ryanair flight on Sunday, Lukashenko denounced the recent EU sanctions issued against Belarus, accusing the West of waging a “hybrid war” against him. He also defended the forced landing, maintaining that he believed there was a bomb threat. “As we predicted, our ill-wishers from outside the country and from inside the country changed their methods of attack on the state,” Lukashenko told Parliament on Wednesday....