In a post shared on Mumsnet’s Am I Being Unreasonable (AIBU) subforum, user AnnoyedHenAttendee said she is going to a “hen [bachelorette party] weekend” next month. The user said the guests will be “covering the hen’s costs between us. Fine with me, same as every hen do I’ve been on (and I’m old so there’s been quite a few!).”

However, she added, “what’s not fine is that the chief bridesmaid has booked an additional spa day for the bride and has asked told us all to contribute £20 [around $23] as our ‘share’ each. This isn’t part of the hen weekend, it’s happening at a weekend closer to the wedding…AIBU to tell her she’s a CF [cheeky f*****]?”

The average cost of attending a wedding by car in 2022 was $593 and going to one by plane can cost around $1,314, on average, according to a survey of more than 2,500 wedding guests conducted by Zola, a wedding planning website.

Among the various elements contributing to the costs for wedding guests are activities and additional events, such as bachelor/bachelorette parties, according to the survey.

The survey found that overall a person will spend $1,500 or more to be a wedding guest in 2022, with more than a quarter (29 percent) saying that most of their spending is on booking travel and buying gifts. Just under a quarter (23 percent) of those surveyed said they spend the most on accommodation.

The user who posted on Mumsnet said: “Everyone else has said what a lovely idea it is and has transferred their money [rolling eyes face emoji]. I’m not keen, I think it would have been polite to at least float the idea first before booking. I’d also never assume everyone has got a spare £20 they don’t need!”

The poster continued: “If I say I’m not paying I look like I’m being really awkward and they’ve divided the cost up now (apparently), so they’d have to ask everyone else for a bit more. But I’m also bloody annoyed it’s been booked with the assumption that we’ll all cough up.”

In a later post, the user said she was partly annoyed because when she held her own bachelorette party, she “was very mindful of the costs and made sure we went for a meal at a very affordable restaurant.”

“I’d have been horrified if I found out cash had been demanded from friends/family for a present without asking them first,” she said.

Poppy Sienna, a luxury wedding and event planner based in the U.K., told Newsweek that she agrees that “the idea [for the spa day for the bride] should have been passed around before a decision was made and people were asked/informed they needed to contribute.”

The wedding expert also said she sees this happen quite often. “I personally think it would be best/easier to pay the £20 to not cause any awkwardness amongst the other bridal party members, especially considering you will have to spend a lot of time with them.”

Sienna said she understands the original poster’s view because “not everyone will have a spare £20, especially if they haven’t been given much notice.”

However, “in cases like this, and I am sure the poster is close to the bride—considering she is going to the hen—it’ll be a nice activity for the bride to do, and I would be happy to pay this to ensure she has a special time in the run-up to her wedding.”

The latest post led to some debate among users on Mumsnet, with several saying they understood the original poster’s feelings.

User Loics said: “That is cheeky, and I definitely wouldn’t pay.”

Newmum0322 agreed, writing: “It’s defo CF territory. I’d pay it and then put a message out along the lines of ‘hi, just transferred it over so should be with you shortly. In future, if there’s anything else you need us to contribute too just let me know in advance, it’s not a lot but these things add up and I’m on a bit of a budget.’”

Pixiedust1234 said: “I wouldn’t like it either. However I would pay the £20 as it’s a relatively small amount, if it had been £50 [around $58] I would have pushed back.”

User defineme said: “You’re not being unreasonable, but for the sake of avoiding drama I’d keep quiet and pay.” Hamstersarse agreed, writing: “You already know YANBU [you are not being unreasonable] but also that you will have to pay. Suck it up.”

Soubriquet said: “Tbh [to be honest], after going on a hen do and everything that comes with it, an additional £20 is neither here nor there.”

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.