–Bored With Bio
My dear, what you need is “Dr. Tatiana’s Sex Advice to All Creation,” 234 delightful pages of scientific wisdom dispensed by biologist Olivia Judson in the guise of Tatiana, a sort of Ann Landers in a lab coat. “I’ve noticed I enjoy sex more if I bite my lovers’ heads off first,” writes a praying mantis. The good doctor responds: “Some of my best friends are man-eaters,” then proceeds to explain why that’s not literally true, while assuring the insect that her snacking is as natural an aphrodisiac as candlelight and Barry White tunes.
The “deviant lifestyles” detailed in Dr. Tatiana’s fictional column by far eclipse anything we stodgy humans do. There are hermaphroditic sea hares who wonder why everyone else doesn’t have orgies all day, an elephant whose nether regions have turned green and a spoon worm who’s accidentally inhaled her husband. If your tastes are more ascetic, there’s also a talk-show transcript starring a unicellular critter who–horrors!–forgoes sex altogether in favor of cloning. (“My ancestors abolished males,” she says, cheered on by rowdy radical feminists in the audience. “They said they were better off without them.”) Though the book is chock-full of technical footnotes, Judson says it’s aimed at general readers “who are interested in sex,” which should make it a quick best seller when it comes out in August. Easy to understand and hard to resist, it’s sex education at its prime–accurate, comprehensive and hilarious. Your boyfriend will be thrilled. Just don’t get too inspired and bite his head off.
