Fantasy football is hard. Winning a fantasy championship is even harder. For many, just naming their team is a major challenge – but it’s one thing you can control. Moreover, it’s an important step to establishing fantasy team identity. You can’t very well expect to go the distance with the monotone blandness of “Mike T’s Grand Team.”
No, that just won’t do. You want your fantasy team to tell a story from the preseason to the fantasy championship (or Toilet Bowl, depending on your fate). All great stories begin with a great name. Can you imagine if Dickens entitled “Great Expectations” something like “Broke Pip Gets Rich”? Not exactly a title that screams “instant classic.”
DOMINATE YOUR DRAFT: Ultimate 2022 fantasy cheat sheet
Part of the reason you should consider putting some effort into finding a good team name — either before or after your draft — is because it’s important to commit yourself to your squad. You need to make each squad your ride-or-die for five-plus months: build it, name it, nurture it, guide it, do away with parts of it while improving it in other ways. And maybe, in half a year, you’ll be a little richer or a little prouder because that little team you brought up turned into a fantasy cash crop.
2022 STANDARD RANKINGS:QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Kickers | Top 200 | Superflex
We’ve heard all the classics that have long since been raised to the team name rafters. “Somewhere Over Dwayne Bowe,” “99 Problems But a Fitz Ain’t One,” and “Le’Veon a Prayer” cleverly combined references to music and football. “2 Gurleys, 1 Kupp,” “Pimpin’ Ain’t Breesy,” and “Make America Gronk Again” mix cultural and political references with NFL players. But most of those players are retired, and the outdated names associated with them deserve to be retired, as well.
2022 PPR RANKINGS:QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Kickers | Top 200 | Superflex
Every year, new rookies come into the league and give us a fresh batch of name ideas. Sometimes, players move on from one squad to another and inadvertently unite two player names that perfectly merge into a legendary team handle. You never know until you sit down and think about it.
2022 FANTASY SLEEPERS:QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | One from each team
Just spitballing here after a brief look at the 2022 rookie class: “Better Call Hall,” “Drake’s One Dance (with a TD in My Hands),” “Garrett Wilson’s WAR,” “Jameson Pickleback Shots,” and “Pickett and Flick it” combine first-round draft picks with a hit TV show, a song, a film (and advanced PFF stat), alcohol, and booger-picking. That’s quick, efficient work, if you ask me. (And that’s not even getting into the goldmine that is Skyy Moore.)
2022 AUCTION VALUES (Standard & PPR):QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Kickers | Overall
Some players provided us with instant-classics the moment they joined the NFL community years ago — names that won’t soon get old. “Cobra Kyler” and “Kyler, the Creator” should both be alive and well as long as Karate Kid, Tyler, the Creator, and Kyler Murray stay awesome. “Yippie-ki-yay, Justin Tucker,” an homage to “Die Hard” and the best kicker ever, is about the only cool thing related to having kickers in a fantasy league in 2022.
2022 RANKINGS TIERS & DRAFT STRATEGY:QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs
We could go on forever because our dad jokes and pun supply are basically unlimited. Our personal rules: be creative, keep it PG-13, and pick it and stick to it. It’s bad juju to change team names 12 times in a 14-week fantasy regular season. (Hey, there’s one: Bad JuJu!). If you want to get R-rated or make your name an inside joke only you and your friends will get, then more power to you. We couldn’t possibly list all those options below. Hopefully our list can inspire you to think of something truly creative and/or offensive.
Follow your fantasy team and watch every week during the 2022 NFL season on Sling TV. Stream Sling Orange or Blue for $35/month, or both for $50/month. Right now, get half off your first month, plus SHOWTIME, STARZ, AND EPIX – first month on us! SIGN UP FOR SLING!
Without further ado, here are our favorite fantasy team names for the 2022 NFL season. You probably won’t get all these references, but as we say when talking about boom-or-bust WRs for your flex spot every week – it only takes one.
DOMINATE YOUR DRAFT: Ultimate 2022 fantasy cheat sheet
Best fantasy football team names 2022
Running backs
Austin Ekeler Ek’s Gon’ Give it to Ya’ Austin 3:16 Austin Powers Professor Ek
AJ Dillon Dillon ‘Em Softly
Breece Hall Better Call Hall Breece’s Pieces Breece Mode Feed the Breece Came in Like a Wrecking Hall Hall So Hard Hall Til We Fall Keep it Breecey
Nick Chubb Hot Chubb Time Machine Chubbthumping We Be Chubbin’ Chubby Chasers
Clyde Edwards-Helaire Helaire Highwater Fresh Prince of Helaire Clyde and Go Seek
Leonard Fournette Fournettecation Fournette Flix and Chill
JK Dobbins Rockin’ Dobbins Batman And Dobbins (or Bateman & Dobbins if you get Rashod Bateman) Dobbins And Stealin’ Baskin Dobbins (or Gaskin Dobbins if you get Myles Gaskin, too)
Ezekiel Elliott Zeke Squad Hide And Go Zeke/Zeke And You Shall Find Get Your Zeke On The Zeke Shall Inherit The Earth Last Night I Took An El(liott)
2022 STANDARD RANKINGS:QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Kickers | Top 200 | Superflex
Saquon Barkley Another ‘Quon Bites The Dust Saquonda Forever Saquonda Lives Watch What You Saquon Saquaratine Barkley All Barkley, No Bite/My Barkley Is Louder Than My Bite
Cordarrelle Patterson Cut the Cordarrelle
Alvin Kamara Instant Kamara Lights, Kamara, Action Kamara Shy The Kamara Loves You
Christian McCaffrey Run CMC Mister Christian, Oh, The Time Has Come Christian Missionaries Onward Christian Soldier
Travis Etienne All You Can Etienne/You Are What You Etienne
Joe Mixon Catalina Wine Mixon Prestige Worldwide Live at the Wine Mixon Mixon Business with Pleasure Mixon Match Mixon It Up
Miles Sanders I Would Walk 500 Miles I Can See for Miles and Miles Head In The Sanders/Belt Sanders/Quick Sanders/Sanders Castles
Jonathan Taylor Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy Taylor to the Moon Taylor Made
2022 PPR RANKINGS:QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Kickers | Top 200 | Superflex
Najee Harris Najee Unit Naj’s Illmatic Naj-Bombs Naj Mahal Najee Willickers Harris Wheels
Damien Harris Harris Wheels Notre Damien
Josh Jacobs Jacobs’ Ladder
Rhamondre Stevenson Forgot About Rhamondre/Rhamondre Day Friendly Rhamondre/Night To Rhamondre Even Stevenson
Devin Singletary Young, Free, and Singletary Seventh Devin/Devin Can Wait/Stairway To Devin/Devin Sent
Kenneth Walker III What’s the Frequency, Kenneth? DogWalker
Kareem Hunt In The Hunt/Big-Game Hunting Krispy Kareems
James Cook Big Game James (See below)
Dalvin Cook MasterClass Cook Jesse, Let’s Cook Too Many Cooks Dalvin and the Chipmunks
2022 FANTASY SLEEPERS:QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | One from each team
Myles Gaskin Cookin’ with Gaskin Gaskin Robbins
D’Andre Swift Swift Kick In Your Ass Swifty Hussle Cuttin’ Like Swiftblades 50 Shades of ‘Dre
James Conner Ex-Conners Conner Air
Derrick Henry King Henry’s Court Oh, Henry D-Block
Aaron Jones Keepin’ up with the Joneses Mr. Jones and Me Game of Jones To Aaron Is Human/Aaron On The Side Of Caution
Mark Ingram Ingram Toenails
Tony Pollard Arroz Con Pollard/El Pollard Loco
Marlon Mack Mackcine Mandate/Anti-Mackser Born To Mack/Return Of The Mack
2022 AUCTION VALUES (Standard & PPR):QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Kickers | Overall
Sony Michel Sony With a Chance of Dropped Balls Always Sony in Philadelphia Sony Side Up Say It Ain’t Sony My Little Sony
Gus Edwards Every Day I’m Gustlin’ Gus Station/Back Up The Gus/Gus StopGet On The Gus
Jamaal Williams Jamaal About That Bass
Rashaad Penny Runnin’ Rashaad Over You Penny For Your Thoughts/Penny Candy The Penny Is Mightier
J.D. McKissic Sealed With A McKissic/McKissic My Ass
2022 RANKINGS TIERS & DRAFT STRATEGY:QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs
Quarterbacks
Kyler Murray Kyler, the Creator Cobra Kyler Murray-Up Offense
Dak Prescott Dak to the Future Big Dak Energy Dak and Yellow Baby Got Dak Dak in the Saddle Again Prescott Your Luck/Full-Court Prescott
Patrick Mahomes Country Road, Take Mahomes Rollin’ with Mahomes Mahomes Don’t Play That Home Sweet Mahomes/Stay At Mahomes/Mahomes Is Where The Heart Is/Mahomes Cookin’/Mahomes Field Advantage
Tua Tagovailoa It Takes Tua to Make a Thing Go Right It Takes Tua to Tango Laser Tagovailoa/Freeze Tagovailoa
Joe Burrow Burrowito Bowl Beg, Burrow, And Steal Joe Burrow, Tiger King
Kenny Pickett Pickett Lines Kenny Pickett and Flick it Oh No! They Drilled Kenny!
Mac Jones Return of the Mac Daddy Mac Will Make You Jump! Maccine Mandate/Anti-Macser
DOMINATE YOUR DRAFT: Ultimate 2022 fantasy cheat sheet
Aaron Rodgers Aaron it Out To Aaron Is Human/Aaron On The Side Of Caution Mr. Rodgers’ Neighborhood
Matthew Stafford Inglourious Staffords Stafford Infections
Lamar Jackson Lamar’s Attacks I’m Sorry, L-Jackson Jackson Drive Lamar The Merrier Lights, Camera, Jackson!
Jalen Hurts Hurts So Good/Love Hurts/The Hurts Locker Jalen Thee Stallion
Trey Lance Forgot About Trey Still T.R.E.Y. 50 Shades of Trey Lance Lance Revolution/Pants Off Lance Off TreyHive
Jimmy Garoppolo Nothin’ But a Jimmy G Thang Jimmy G-Unit Garoppolypse Now El Garoppolo Loco Los Garoppolos Hermanos
Tom Brady Brady Gaga The Real Slim Brady Here’s My Number, So Call Me Brady Brady Bunch Once, Twice, Three Times A Brady Lord of the Rings
Josh Allen We’re Allen In This Together
Justin Herbert Puffin’ Herbert
Kirk Cousins Captain Kirks Kissing Cousins
2022 CONSISTENCY RATINGS:Quarterback | Running back | Wide receiver | Tight end
Derek Carr Carroz Con Pollo Dude, Where’s My Carr?
Matt Ryan Song Of Matty Ice And Fire Saving Matt Ryan
Jared Goff Turn Your Head And Goff Turn Goff The Lights G’off My Lawn
Justin Fields Fields Of Dreams/Fields Day
Jameis Winston Almost Jameis I’ll Make You Jameis All I Do Is Winston
Carson Wentz North By North Wentz/Go Wentz, Young Man Wentz Upon A Time Just Say Wentz
Baker Mayfield Baking Bad Baker Of Chains Mayfield Of Dreams/Baker Mayfields Forever Shake-N-Bakers
Mitchell Trubisky The Big Trubisky Karma is a Mitch (Now You’re) Messin’ With a Son of a Mitch Get Mitch or Die Tryin’ 99 Problems But a Mitch Ain’t One Trubisky Business
2022 FANTASY DRAFT STRATEGY:Snake drafts | Auctions | Dynasty | Best ball | IDP
Wide Receivers
Davante Adams D. Adams Family Davante’s Inferno Adams Bomb Up And Adams
Jameson Williams Jameson Pickleback Shots
Garrett Wilson Garrett Wilson’s WAR Garretteed Satisfaction
Drake London Drake It ’Til You Make It Easy Drake Oven London Calling Werewolves of London
Chris Olave Olave Garden Olave Oil
Kenny Golladay Hotel, Motel, Golladay Inn Golladay! Celebrate! Going on Golladay (IR)
Skyy Moore Skyy’s the Limit The Rise of Skyywalker Skyyfall Skyy High Would You Like Some Moore? Toast You Like S’Moore The Moore The Merrier
D.J. Moore/Elijah Moore/Rondale Moore (See above)
Brandin Cooks Ain’t No Such Thing as Halfway Cooks Cooks in the Kitchen Short Order Cooks Too Many Cooks
Cooper Kupp Fill My Kupp Kupp Runneth Over 2 Girls, One Kupp Red Solo Kupp Cooper Troopers Hangin with Mr. Cooper King Cooper
Amari Cooper Cooper Troopers Hangin with Mr. Cooper King Cooper Have Yourself Amari Little Christmas Amari Express Amari Teenage Riot
Justin Jefferson Justin Credible JJ Jazzy Jeff
DK Metcalf Golden Metcalf
Ja’Marr Chase The Chase Is On High-Speed Chase Ja’Marr The Merrier
DeAndre Hopkins Beats By DeAndre Nuk Suit Riot Forgot About ‘Dre Nuk Blue Devils
Adam Thielen Hooked on a Thielen More Than a Thielen I Got a Thielen, a Thielen Deep Inside Thielen Like a Million Bucks
Allen Robinson Here’s to You, Allen Robinson Robb Deep
DJ Chark Chark Week Charknado Chark Season
2022 STANDARD RANKINGS:QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Kickers | Top 200 | Superflex
CeeDee Lamb Silence of the Lambs Phi Lamb-a Jamma Lamb Dunk CeeDee Burner Easy as A-B-CeeDee
Deebo Samuel Deebo Knows Football Deebowlin’ Over You Deathblow Deebo Finding Deebo Son of Samuel
Julio Jones Dr. Julio Games of Jones
JuJu Smith-Schuster Bad JuJu
Stefon Diggs Diggs Poppa Can You Diggs It?
Keenan Allen Peachy Keenan
Robert Woods Woods You Rather?/What Woods You Do? Cabin In The Woods
Tyler Lockett Lockett Like It’s Hot Win? Lockett In Pop, Lockett, Drop It Hot Lockett
2022 PPR RANKINGS:QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Kickers | Top 200 | Superflex
Jaylen Waddle Blow Your Waddle Jaylen Thee Stallion
Tee Higgins Tee It Up Spill The Tee/Tee Bags
Chase Claypool Jars Of Claypool
A.J. Brown/Marquise Brown Takin’ the Browns to the Toilet Bowl What Can Brown Do For You? How Now, Brown Cow Odell Beckham Jr. Odellta Variant O-dell No!
Diontae Johnson A Hill To Diontae
Brandon Aiyuk An Eye For An Aiyuk
Courtland Sutton King Of The Courtland/Royal Courtland/Night Courtland Always Up To Sutton Cute As A Sutton
Chris Godwin There Is A Godwin! All I Do Is Godwin Mike Evans Stairway To Evans/Seventh Evans/Evans Can Wait/etc.
Tyler Boyd Avoid The Boyd Yeaaaaaaaaah Booooooooooooyd! Boyd Rage
Tyreek Hill Hill Street Blues Hill Toppers/Kings Of The Hill ‘Reek Havoc/Havoc ‘Reekers
Rashod Bateman Master Bateman Bateman Begins/Bateman & Robin Runnin’ Rashod Over You
2022 FANTASY SLEEPERS:QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | One from each team
Michael Gallup Gallup Poll
Laviska Shenault Jr. Livin’ Laviska Loca Hasta Livaska, Baby
Van Jefferson Robust Vantibodies Vancel Culture I Live In A Van Down By The RiverAllen Lazard Lazard Focus/Lazard Pointer/Lazard Beam Lazard King
Mecole Hardman Get Hardman Don’t You Forget About Mecole/Mecole, Myself And I
Darnell Mooney Dark Side Of The Mooney/First Man On The Mooney/Etc. I Don’t Give A Darnell
Christian Kirk Captain Kirks Onward Christian Soldiers/Christian Missionaries
Jamison Crowder Crowder Heads Crowder Control/Sold Out Crowder/Three’s a Crowder
Jarvis Landry Dirty Landry/Landry Service Gym, Tan, Landry
Jerry Jeudy Call Of Jeudy Judge Jeudy Ms. New Jeudy/Jeudy Call
2022 AUCTION VALUES (Standard & PPR):QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Kickers | Overall
Tight ends
Noah Fant Fant of the Year (Bounce!) MC Hammer Fants U Fant Touch This OnlyFants Fant Man Fantom Menace/Fantom Of The Opera What’s your Fant-asy? Whatchu Noah ‘Bout It?
Cameron Brate Make America Brate Again
George Kittle Dream Big, Kittle Man Kittles and Bits Kittles: Taste the Rainbow Kittle Big Man Kittle Giants Kittle One
Albert Okwuegbunam Hey, Hey, Hey – It’s Fat Albert! OK Go!
Zach Ertz Ertz So Good Love Ertz Ertz, Wind & Fire MegaErtz Death Ertztificate
Irv Smith Jr. Get Your Irv On You’ve Got Some Irv! Irvous Wreck
Mike Gesicki Gesicki To My Stomach
DOMINATE YOUR DRAFT: Ultimate 2022 fantasy cheat sheet
Travis Kelce Kelce Lately
Dallas Goedert Praise Goedert/There Is a Goedert
Dawson Knox Knox Three Times Fort Knox Don’t Knox It ‘Til You Try It Dawson’s Creek
Robert Tonyan I, Tonyan Metric Tonyan/My Uzi Weighs A Tonyan
T.J. Hockenson Hockenson A Loogie Ad Hockenson Committee
Kyle Pitts 99 Problems But a Pitts Ain’t One Pitts And Giggles
Darren Waller Family Waller/Waller General/Waller Store/Another Day, Another Waller/A Day Later And A Waller Short Waller ID Build The Waller!
Cole Kmet When Harry Kmet Sally
Matt Lutovsky, Jovan Alford, Nick Musial, Vinnie Iyer, Jordan Heck, and Jacob Camenker all contributed to this article.
